The sloes at the end of the garden are so huge I am wondering if they are not sloes at all? If they are then I’m making gin this year.

They are not sloes! Looked them up on the web and the fact that the fruits have stalks so that they hang, rather than forming close to the twigs means that they are wild plums. That makes much more sense as picked you can actually eat them as you would a plum. Now what do do with them- they are far too small and fiddly to use in cooking.