I have always liked the liminal time between Christmas and New Year; a time when the usual passage of time seems to grind to a halt and there is the space to go inwards and attend to what is in your heart and imagination, rather than the everyday concerns of work and household routines. Indeed you are positively encouraged to think and reflect about the past year and what is to come in the next. The midwinter solstice is traditionally the time to discard what is old and no longer serves us and to make ‘resolutions’ for the New Year. For gardeners it is the time for planning, making up plant lists, ordering seeds and preparing the ground and greenhouse for the next season. Indeed more ‘gardening’ happens in the mind than in the actual garden, given the unwelcoming weather conditions and short days. In December and January I do far more gardening in my imagination than I do in the actual garden.

This year I had a couple of books by Monty Don (and his wife Sarah) and I have positively glowed with the inspiration and passion for gardening that comes through in his words.  I sit in the warm, by the fire and imagine the garden that I am going to create here, and the love and passion that I will devote to my Easterneden, just like Monty (and with similar results of course!), and I almost lose sight of the fact that gardening my plot is always going to be so very different and there is a large and daunting gap between the garden of my imagination and the real garden.

Yesterday, filled with the excitement of the garden that I will create in 2019 I pulled on my boots and went out to begin measuring up the area around where the new cabin will be so that I can start to plan, and I was of course hit with the heavy sense of reality, the size of the task and my fear that I will not be able to live up to all my dreams. The gap between the garden of my imagination and the real garden was huge indeed.

The foundations are laid and the ground team are digging large holes for the septic tank and soak away. I have asked them to pile the earth on site as I have dreams of creating undulating mounds and interesting earthworks on my very flat and in some ways featureless plot, however this has meant that they have been hauling the earth up and down the garden creating huge ruts and a sea of mud and deep puddles. As I was laboriously measuring out with a post and surveyors tape my boots kept getting stuck in the mud and I stumbled and tottered around feeling flustered and overwhelmed. My dreams of the new garden around the cabin and even the interesting mounds and windbreaks further down the plat seemed so very far away. With a heavy heart I wondered whether I could ever create the sort of garden that I have in my mind…

But the trick with gardening, as with life I suppose, is to do just what is in front of you and to have faith in the future overall plan. It is so very easy to get discouraged by the size of the task and fall at the first hurdle. Actually I usually fall at the second, the bit between the big plan and the ultimate dream and the first practical steps that must be made to realise it. I am good at the dream and I love the process of creating ideas and making up plant lists but then I’m faced with actual digging and planting! But I also love digging and planting and enjoy some heavy work  once I get started, it is just getting over the bump of reality and keeping on going. Today the garden is a sea of mud, by June it will be a proper, if immature, garden. The groundwork team have promised to smooth out the ground and spread grass seed when they have finished and the foreman says that he will pile the earth just where I want it, so now I need to finalise my plan. More planning…just what I like…